Unit 11: Scriptwriting for Media Products

Have needs/expectations been met for the client brief and target audience?

For unit 11, I was required to create an original script for a short film of length 5 minutes or longer. I decided to create a script for a documentary called "Peak Sheffield" which is about the countryside in the Peak District very close to Sheffield. I worked on my own for this unit, so I had to research locations in the Peak District, write the script, make sure the formatting was correct and then make it a shooting script by adding editing decisions and camerawork. I also had to gain feedback for my script from a client, which I got from a company called The Writers Group. Finally, I was tasked with using this feedback to create a final, improved version of my script.

The target audience I decided on for my script was both genders in equal proportion of ages 35 and over. The majority of them would live in the suburbs of the city of Sheffield or in the countryside, and might be settled down with a family. I chose this audience because stereotypically, people who would be most interested in going out for a day to the countryside and being tourists would be around middle-aged, and want to spend their free time doing this. They might feel the need to get away from a life in the city for a while. Some of these people might also be parents wanting to go on a family trip to the countryside to show their children what it is like. In addition, this target audience would most likely have spending power of categories ABC1, which is upper middle class, middle class and lower middle class. They would have a fair amount of disposable income and free time to spend on such an interest.

One way in which the script relates to the target audience is through the phrase "it's a city which is surrounded by the beautiful countryside of the Peak District."

This language relates to the target audience because they too would use an adjective like "beautiful" to describe the countryside. It also relates to people of ages 35 and over, because they are more likely to be interested in the countryside, the focal point of that phrase (and the whole script), rather than the busy city. A second way in which the script relates to the target audience is through the phrase "you'll be completely surrounded by nature and its tranquility."

This phrase relates to those who want to get away from a city lifestyle and go on a day out, because it shows the countryside in a positive way with language like "surrounded" and "tranquility". This is what the audience wants to hear and relates to their idea of the countryside. A final way in which my script relates to my target audience is with the section "the limestone you will see as you walk this trail is made up of the shells and hard parts of millions of tiny sea creatures. They existed here over 300 million years ago, back when this area was covered in water."

This piece of dialogue is describing the Limestone Way, and it relates to tourists, as well as parents with children, because it talks about a part of history. Parents might want to show their children a historic site while also visiting the countryside, and tourists would also be interested because of the historic value. All of the examples above relate to an audience of both genders in equal proportion, because the language used is gender-neutral and appeals to anyone who has an interest in nature.

What were the client's likes and dislikes?

One thing that The Writers Group said could be added to my script is a cutaway to a montage of images showing both the Peak District and Sheffield. This should be done at a point in the script where there the voiceover can be heard. Adding this is an important improvement because it would create a link between the Peak District and Sheffield, which reflects the title "Peak Sheffield", and it would also show the contrast between the bustling city and the peaceful countryside. Having a voiceover playing at the same time as this montage is also important because it adds another dimension to the contrast that is created for the audience.

Some other things that could be added to my script, according to The Writers Group's feedback, are titles towards beginning to introduce the documentary, and a roll of credits at the end. These are important because they make the documentary look professional - almost all films of any kind have a roll of credits and most have introductory titles. They let the viewer know what they will be watching and give appropriate credit to those who helped make the film, so both of these things are necessary in making a good film.

A third improvement that could be made to the script, according to the feedback, is the addition of music. The Writers Group thought it would be good to have music playing throughout the documentary along with the voiceover. This would add atmosphere to what is on-screen and also would help with the pace of the film, immersing the viewer more in the production. Therefore it would be an important addition.

A final improvement that The Writers Group suggested for my script was to introduce more variety in my shot types and camera angles. At the moment there are a quite a lot of wide shots in my script and there are some camera movements and angles that I could have used but haven't. I should change these things and add more variety to my camerawork because it would make my production more immersive for the viewer, giving it the feel of a quality film.

The Writers Group also mentioned that I should consider where the documentary might be displayed in order to reach its target audience - perhaps it would be shown along commuter routes to Sheffield, such as in train stations and tram stops. It could also be shown at key tourist locations in Sheffield, such as the Winter Garden. These places might best reach my target audience of people with ABC1 spending power living in the suburbs, ages 35 and over.

In terms of positives, The Writers Group thought that my script used a perfect teacher-to-pupil mode of address to educate viewers about the countryside, and they also said it fit well with the visuals and theme. Additionally, they agreed with my target audience, stating that it was quite niche but that this could definitely work in my favour if I considered the above displaying locations. Finally, they really liked the formality of the language in the script and thought that the visuals sounded really good on paper.

What are the relevant changes that need to be made to the script?

In condensed form, my improved/final script's content needs to include: a cutaway to a montage of images contrasting the Peak District and Sheffield; introductory titles at the beginning and a roll of credits at the end; music which plays throughout the documentary along with the voiceover; and more variety in the camerawork.

To address the first point of improvement, I will add a montage cutaway into my shooting script as an editing decision (along with camera angles, movements and music), justified to the right of the page. This would adhere to script conventions and add to the meaning of the documentary, because as I mentioned before, it contrasts the bustling city of Sheffield with the tranquility of the Peak District. It makes the script more fitting for the target audience because this contrast is something they would relate to. I will place the montage towards the end of the documentary, before the credits roll, in order to sum up the documentary and its message. The narrator will speak at the same time, summarising the documentary in his dialogue, to wrap up the film nicely.

To address the second point of improvement, I will first of all add a title showing the text "Peak Sheffield" to my editing decisions straight after the introduction to the documentary. The title information will be justified to the right once again, and it will explain that the "Peak Sheffield" text will superimposed over a level shot of the countryside. Next, I will add another editing decision, justified to the right, at the end of the script stating "credits roll". These improvements are necessary to make the documentary look more professional, relate it more to the target audience and give credit to those who helped make the film.

To address the third point of improvement, I will add music to my editing decisions throughout my documentary. I will justify the information to the right once again, to comply with script conventions, and I will decide what type of music best fits the scene being shown. For example, I might add "calm non-diegetic music" (music which doesn't originate from the film world, added in post-production) at certain points. Using music is really important in a documentary like this because it helps with its pace, and it also adds atmosphere to the locations. This enhances them and increases the viewer's enjoyment.

Finally, to address the fourth point of improvement, I will change my numerous uses of wide shots into other types of shot, for example "panorama". This will mean my script contains more shot types and there won't be an overuse of one particular type. I will also introduce more camera angles and movements into my editing decisions, so instead of just using a "low-angle" shot, I might use a "tilt-up" instead, meaning there is more movement and the viewer sees more, making the shot more dynamic. Making these changes is important because it means the documentary is more interesting and immersive for the viewer and it has a more professional feel.

Is the content of the product correct?

The content and layout of the script I have written meets the needs of a documentary script because:

The language used is formal. This is necessary for a documentary because of its teacher-to-pupil mode of address, which I will talk about more further on in this section. While the language used is formal, the narrator will still speak in a friendly tone to the viewers so they feel at ease and so that they enjoy the documentary. For example, one section of dialogue says "so you can see that there are many marvellous countryside views and locations right on the doorstep of Sheffield." This is formal but friendly and is the correct type of language for a documentary. The BBC's renowned "Planet Earth" documentary series uses this type of language, as does the long-running "Survival" series.
The house style of the script follows universal script conventions. This means that my script is written in the "Courier New" font with a 12 point size, making it look professional and industry-standard.
It follows layout conventions. I have justified editing decisions and camerawork to the right of the page, placed dialogue centrally and justified location and time of day information to the left. A brief summary of what will happen in any given scene is also justified to the left, indented slightly, before dialogue begins. The positioning of these aspects means my script is laid out in the correct way, how it would be for a professional documentary.
It has a teacher-to-pupil mode of address. This is the perfect mode of address for a documentary, because the narrator (the "teacher") is giving information to the viewers (the "pupils"), who are learning something as they watch. Teacher-to-pupil isn't really informal because this would be inappropriate for an educational film, but at the same time it isn't serious and unfriendly, making it just right for a documentary.

As I have talked about in my improvements sections, I need to make sure the shot types, camera movements and camera angles used in my shooting script are varied and up to scratch before it can be used to film for real.

Does it meet legal and ethical requirements?

My script meets legal and ethical requirements by adhering to the BBFC's regulations and the Ofcom Broadcasting Codes. It will be appropriate for an under-18 audience (despite this not being my target audience), appropriate for pre-watershed scheduling, and it will not commit slander. In addition to this, I will not infringe copyright with any of my content.

Based on Ofcom's broadcasting codes and the BBFC's film classification rules, my documentary is definitely suitable for an under-18 audience. According to the broadcasting codes, my material shouldn't "impair the physical, mental or moral development" of under-18s, and it does not do this anywhere. All of the content is harmless and informative - for example, the phrase "this country walk begins to the south-east of Castleton and goes on for 46 miles", represents how the majority of the script is written.

In addition, in order to be suitable for under-18s, the broadcasting codes state that there shouldn't be any content to do with sex, violence or drugs, and there shouldn't be any offensive language for younger children. As a nature documentary, my film won't include any of this. The BBFC agrees with these codes for under-18s, and additionally, based on the BBFC's classifications of films, Peak Sheffield would be rated a U for Universal (suitable for ages four and over). This is because it is set within a "positive framework" as the BBFC writes, and it does not contain any of the inappropriate content mentioned earlier. Therefore it would not be rated anywhere near an 18 by the BBFC, even though the target audience is aged 35 and over, because the content is absolutely inoffensive.

Because of the harmless content in my documentary, it would also be suitable for pre-watershed scheduling. The "watershed" applies to television and it refers to the period of time between nine o'clock at night and five thirty in the morning - material unsuitable for children should not be shown before this point, according to Ofcom. A "passive" audience, one which believes the things they see in films and may try to re-enact them (Theodore Adorno, 1930), can also be negatively affected by harmful content like discrimination, sex, violence, drugs and offensive language. Because younger people are likely to be more impressionable and "passive", it is important that offensive content is shown during the watershed time period. However, Peak Sheffield is suitable for children, a daytime audience and anyone who might be watching before nine o'clock, because content such as "the tower itself is quite simply stunning to look at" is fine to be shown anytime. It is not detrimental to the development of younger people and would contain nothing negative for an impressionable audience.

Copyright is a key issue to consider when creating a film. It is important to gain permission for any content you use which doesn't belong to you, because the original creators need crediting or paying for their creations. Using people's content without gaining permission is illegal because you have essentially stolen from them and claimed something to be yours which isn't. This applies to music, sound effects and visuals when making a documentary. I will film all of my footage myself on public land in the Peak District, so for this I won't need permission. I will get the music for the documentary from my brother, Josh Shirt, who is a music producer and professional voice actor. He will give me permission for use of his tracks, whichever ones I pick. Also, he is providing the voiceover for the documentary so once again I will have permission for that part of the production. Finally, any sound effects (such as birdsong, traffic and wind) which I add in post-production will be sourced from freesound.org. I can browse through many different sound effects there and I can use most for free, as long as I credit the creator in the roll of credits and provide a link to the Creative Commons licence. With these permissions, I will not be infringing copyright in any way when creating my documentary.

When making a documentary, you must also take care not to commit slander, which means "making false and damaging statements about something". I have prevented slander in my script's dialogue by sourcing location information from my own local knowledge, with help from some official Peak District and Derbyshire websites and brochures. This means that won't be any false information on the area in my documentary. Also, since I will film the whole documentary myself in the Peak District, I know that there will be no false information or locations in Peak Sheffield's visuals.